Would you like a beer with that?

No...I feel like complete and udder horseshit this morning/afternoon. Last night April and I went to her friend Frank and Dwayne's house. It was too much fun. Especially when Frank had boxers and a lampshade on dancing to Erotica by Madonna. Then he winds up spanking his boyfriends ass with a mini blind adjuster stick. April got a whipping on the arm. Who would ever think that a lampshade could become a tophat? Not I, I'll have to admit that. I really didn't think I had a buzz or anything until I got home. Then the alcohol kicked in overtime mode. I started of with three 23 oz. Mike's Hard Lemonade and then had like 6-7 Bud lights. I really was sober until I got home. Then I thought I could fly while laying in the bed. Don't ask me what I was thinking...but I fell out of the bed. I didn't go to bed until 4 am this morning and then woke up at 5:44am and had the worst headache...took two sleeping pills and crashed. Now I'm awake but still tired...that's where the horseshit blues comes in.

Revenge of the Golden Girls

Just when I thought the Golden Girls was losing steam on Lifetime...I find out that Frank and Dwayne love the Golden Girls. My woman are taking over. Though the show may be cancelled and only reruns are on they are going to find you GG haters and bind you with polygrip!

Eye shattering experience

So I find the makeup that I used last Halloween when I dressed up as Ms. West Virginia...and get a ding/lightbulb above my head. I was bored and thought "Hey put some makeup on one of your eyes and then take it off to have something to do." Doesn't sound too dangerous does it? Well it was. Here I have my right eye all dragarific with pretty shades of silver and gray and black. Well I'm like "Well now that you've gotten in touch with your inner diva it's time to take the makeup off because it is annoying to feel it on your skin." So I use water at first and it won't come off...then I move to soap and water. It starts coming off. Well I accidently rub a little too hard and get anitbacterial handsoap in my eye (I wear contacts) and then get washcloth burns under my eye. I have a huge red cut under my eye. See...makeup is dangerous.

The most important part of last night...

So Frank has these brilliant names that he loves to give people...April and I have new secret agent identities.

April is now: Moonpie Ziggowitz with the special power of the lawn mower. She can kill with the blades and attract all Mexicans within the tristate to her beck and call.

Paul, me is now: Cornbread Jones with the special power of the "couch left on the front porch" and my weapon is day old muffins that I carry in a basket and throw at people. My ring is an octagon and is dark blue. They can't leave Bubbles Malone's (Frank's) house because of the sacred WV power stone.

Frank is: Bubbles Malone with the special power of everything.

Dwayne is: Chunky Beaver or Quiffa Jism and his power was never disclosed. But Frank changed his name thoughout the night and this one stuck for the moment.

You see meeting new people let's everyone get in touch with their inner WonderWoman...

All the world is waiting for you...and the power you possess...

Paul