Snow White you Whore

So much for having a good weekend of shopping and la la la. The la la la part is in reference to the evil doings that have yet to occur. There is about 8 or so inches of snow outside...hmm 8 inches. Yeah there is evil thought #1...turning something as pretty (annoying) as snow into a sexual thing. But what am I to do with myself today. Of course, I can bake more cookies which I really find there is no need to do because of the eight dozen that exploded out of the oven last night. Or I could be courageous and play in the snow and try to make snow angels. But they would probably turn out as snow satans since my luck with the divine hasn't been the greatest lately. Or I could wait until a decent hour, call April, tell her we need to go shopping and hope that she wants to go. If not Betsy the Benz is going to have a real good time of getting to Frederick with snow that probably sits higher than the body of the car. She has low profile tires. I feel shopping is the only thing to do besides going stir crazy. Plus it makes me happy and all warm and fuzzy.

Speaking of warm and fuzzy I need to find someone that makes me feel that way of a semi-daily basis. I won't be too hard on them. Aside from the fact that even the ugliest of all creatures is being considered for my lover (yeah there is no ugly creature it's just a statement) I really need someone to at least get a little tongue action with. I've made sure to take care of my lips and everything this winter. I even told Cheryl at work on Friday that they were all warm and soft for kissing. And they are. They are way soft. I expect the same in return. Anyone want to just have a makeout could possibly lead to wild, passionate, animalistic sex meeting? Applications now being accepted.

Went to Walmart last night. I am throughly learning to hate Walmart, that is why I go there often. I saw Amanda and Billy's new baby. I am in love with the little angel. He is so adorable. I want a baby so bad. It's a shame men can't get pregnant. I could just imagine the possibilites of clothing opportunities awaiting my newborn. It's weird but everyone always tells me they can't see me as a father. I saw "Whatevah" with a middle finger to ya because I am extremely good with children. I only watched my cousin Keith and Destiny on end when I lived in Baltimore. Plus I have spent countless hours entertaining Raina and Darien. My child would be just like me. However, what they wouldn't be is a child who was teased from age 7 until 17. A child that had the shit kicked out of him. Basically, a child living in a fantasy world just to escape the realities of his life with ignorant people. My child would be accepting of everyone (except for the really icky people). My child would not live in West Virginia. If only I had a "my child." April we need to get you pregnant with twins so I can have one. Get to sluttin'.

Considering it's only 7:52am I'm sure there will be more to post later today so I'll shut up for now. And after reading some of my previous posts I can tell I must have been high on pills or drunk. Maybe my writing is getting better and more cohesive now that The Wizard of Oz finally gave me a brain. But please let there be an offer when I cum back from wherever I find myself today.

And for those of you who think there should be marriage equality as I myself do please sign the following petition by clicking here
Yeah it's 8:17am and I have more to say


After my toe had an intimate gathering with the foot of the desk I decided I'd stay on line just a little longer.

Why can't I find more people like Angelo in West Virginia? Hmm? I've spent the last half hour reading through his archieves now that they are fully available. And I must say I'm in love with his writing. Examples of what has made me giggle and wish he wrote books in the genre of "The Broken Diaries."

1. While painting my mother's bathroom this afternoon, I had the most shocking revelation: My mother is my ultimate faghag.

2. I think I need to stop hanging out with heterosexuals.

3. I felt as ordinary as a toaster today.

4. I think I may have died and resurfaced in the innermost circles of hell.

5. I hate skinny people who eat as if they had the stomach capacity of Rosie O'Donnell.

Yeah, that's right the last one just about made me want to end my life on a happy note. Angelo my little ball of blogging sunshine where were you when I was in high school and college?

It's 6pm what the fuck are you doing...?

Just got in from shopping. Managed to not buy one damn Christmas present for anyone but myself. Let's see:

Missy Elliott's new cd
No Doubt's greatest hits cd
The Go-go's greatest hits cd
A Hugo Boss cologne set with free Hugo Boss traveling bag, and some rock collection garden candle thing
Apple, Berry, and Cucumber handwipes from Bath and Body Works
Fresh Linen spray for my sheets and pillows...yummy.
A shirt that has a tractortrailer on it that says "For a Good Time Call Your Mother."
A shirt that has the saying "The People that think they know everything annoy the people like me that do."

Yeah Santa needn't bring any gifts for me this year. And let's see if you have the opportunity listen to the Missy song about "Hair Weave." It is quite amusing. Supposed to be going to the movies and out to a bar afterward tonight...it's quite icy out so we'll see what happens. By the way...

THE GO-GO'S ROCK!!