The Amazing Cyn

I really cannot express how muh Cyn's website seems to perk my day up. To me she is one of the funniest people that I've ever not met but may meet this summer. Haven't heard from her though because she's in Oberlin. I read my dad the thing about Buffy Spoiler and he for once laughed his ass off. Thank God for you Cyn...you actually got a laugh out of my father. If anyone reads this who doesn't know where this website is...it's www.pinkhairedgirl.com ! It is kick ass!

If I were a balloon I would be high

Yes that's right...I would be high if I were a balloon. Coming off these damned painkillers is like trying not to eat the piece of Cheesecake Factory cheesecake from Ruby Tuesday's. Oh the torture. But I'm doing really good. I'm down from like 8 a day to like 3-4. My back was swollen last night so I took 2 instead of 1. I think I did too much yesterday. I mean come on I got out of bed...went to Bonton and spent $120 on clothes, Nautica visors, and CK Undergarments and then went to April's work and sat and then took Amanda her graduation present. I got her a 14k gold white cat and gold cat that are holding paws charm and a 14k gold necklace. Let's just say the credit card is off limits as of right now. Between myself and the gift I spent about $220. So tolerance Kee-mo-sa-be is the new phrase. But I can only charge stuff because I only have like 20 bucks in the bank...This will be quite the feat.

Whoa Momma...where did you learn to shop like that?

My mother was the shock and amazment of yesterday. She went to Bonton for a bra. Two boulder holders. Two Keepumfromflappin. But NO. Momma must of listened to you better shop around before she went into the store.

She tells me before entering the store "Remember only let me buy a bra."
I'm like: "Yeah..you're telling the person with no self control for shopping. Come on I bought a stuffed animal that laughs the other day just for shits and giggles and I have no money as it is."

So we are in the shoe department and she spots them. A pair of sandals that are wonderful and of course I'm all like..."Those look really good on you I think you should get them in the tan and possibly the black." But then I start pointing out other shoes. She tried on like 9 pair but only bought the one. I have this think for women's shoes. Not that I want to wear them it's just that I think they are niftier than sneakers. Plus they come in so many shapes and sizes! Oh the temptation to have had her buy two pair of shoes.

So then we move on to the men's department. I'm like Father's Day!! She's all let me pick out everything. She picks out four tops for my father for the summer. She paid for two and I the other. But she was persistent that she pick them out. Damn...I had to buy shit that I didn't even have a say in. She was all Evil Chinese Judge like: My verdit is you will buy everyting you see he you bad whi boi! Oh-K. Dat is wha' I thaw whi boi you do as ah big ah momma say! And of couse I obey.

So then I go get two new pair of my CK's! And I spot sunglasses. I'm trying them on and she is all like they are crooked. I think my nose is deformed. So I start looking at visors. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't do hats, or visors. My mom comes over and is all like "Oh that is a nice visor. BUY IT! BUY TWO OF THEM!" I do. So now I'm learning how to wear visors...not that you need an instruction manual. Then we are walking toward the bra's which we orignally came for. Amanda's grad gift and two bras. And I see two southpole tops. I'm debating in my head. I don't want to show interest because I know she was in one of those Hollywood Starlet modes where money is just trading dirty paper for fabulous goods. She can see in my eye the interest. She is all like..."I know you want them...I'll buy you one...GET IT! I wind up buying two and paying for both...how the hell did that happen? Mothers!

So the end of this story we get to the bra section and they only have one 38DD to fit her big ol' boobs. And we check out. Great right? She spends like $200 and me like $220. Wonderful we are leaving the store and I'm like "Dad is going to kill us...he knows when we come to the Bonton we always get in trouble."

Here is the best part. Yesterday if you were a Marquis Member(which it states on your card you got an extra 20% off) plus everything was like 25-50% off. My mother and I used to be Marquis Members. They sent new cards but we through those away and kept the ones that said we were Marquis members. So we got an extra 20% off everthing when we really weren't supposed to. Is that stealing from the company...Oh well!

So here is the bestest part and the moral of the story. My mother says after I inform her of Daddy Drama! I have to bold this because I love her theory...oh and she bought a ruby bracelet.

"JUST THINK I CAME HERE FOR TWO BRA'S AND THEY ONLY HAD ONE. ALSO WE CHEATED AND GOT THE 20% DISCOUNT. SO WE SAVED MONEY AND I HAD TO FIND SOMETHING TO REPLACE THE BRA THEY DIDN'T HAVE FOR ME. I'LL TELL YOUR FATHER I COULDN'T HELP IT BERT...ONE BRA WAS JUST NOT ENOUGH I HAD TO REPLACE IT WITH SOMETHING...I MEAN SOME THINGS...AND BESIDES I WORK TO DAMN HARD TO HEAR YOUR MOUTH...SHUT UP YOU GOT CLOTHES OUT OF IT...AND IF HE TRIES TO SAY ANYTHING TOO LATE WE ALREADY HAVE THE GOODS AND THE RECEIPTS...HE CAN'T DO SHIT ABOUT IT BECAUSE I HAVE THE CARD AND RECEIPTS AND HE DOESN'T....BRING IT ON BIG POPPA!"

I'm totally for real. But knowing that I'm not working now I'm trying to think of what my excuse could be but so far he has seemed obilivious to my shopping spree on his dollar since my parents are paying my bills until I go back to work in June. Thanks Dad for the indirect Christmas present/Birthday present. I have a feeling Santa is going to be sparse with presents this year...Nah!