Reason number 5,548

I am a self-proclaimed "LOSER." No social life, no nothing of a life. The only life I have is a work life and aside from that is the life of solitary confinement. There has to be more than this. Or maybe life it just at a stand still now. I have no clue. I just know that life is boring at the moment. I'd like to think that I'll have the life I had when I worked at the casino. There was always something going on. Life wasn't so boring. I've have become dependant on other people's lives. Yes, I am using them to escape the stagnent pond I am currently living in. This morning I have managed to read Patrick's complete site. I found it quite amusing and even more interesting than most of the other journals I read. I have to say though that a lot I have read up to this point and time there reminds me of this past week. It is really scary. On Friday Cheryl won a gift certificate to Joann Fabrics. I asked her what she was going to make and she said curtains thus, leading to the outburst of The Sound of Music's Raindrops on roses. How does this tie into Patrick's journal you ask...look for the entry about his neighbor masturbating on the front porch. Example two...Starbucks...hello do I not have an addiction to the Venti Mocha Frappacino? I think so. The Starbuck's at work is about a block away so it is quite hard to resist. Example three, Patrick's mother ruins his first date...this didn't happen to me but the whole drug in food thing...yeah it happened and it was one of my stories for Cheryl on Friday. Manda R. at AB & C brought in Hash Crispy treats for Christmas two years ago. I spent the whole day babbling, munchin', and asking for more crispy treat. Maybe the things that I think and have happen aren't as "Close Encounters" as I thought they were. Finally, I can say I have read someone's journal that at least in fragments coorilates with things I have experienced. I've never had anyone masturbate outside my window but it could happen.

Aside from feeling self-pity for leading such the "non-glamorous" life I think that medication that quack of a doctor put me on that I had to stop taking because it caused me to vomit, be drowy, have migraines...(this reminds me of how I use clump fifty thoughts into one sentence.) has really messed up my appetite.

Thursday's menu:

A half of a turkey sandwich
A piece of chicken
Brocolli florets

Friday's menu:

A cup of Apple sauce
A cup of vegetable rice

Saturday's menu:

Egg sandwich
3 Chicken tenders

Yeah consider me quite the heffer. Maybe that's why I've managed to drop 25 lbs in about 2 weeks. Not that this is a bad thing. And people have even noticed. How exciting. People always used to tell me that I will get bigger and bigger if I keep not eating...well I think that's bullshit at this point. It's amazes me how people think people that have a little extra weight cause this by eating and being gluttons. Hello there that would not be me. I eat very little which I know is not good for my metabolism back then but now it seems to be doing something totally different. And my doctor is evil...always saying lose some weight. When I went to see him he didn't even acknowledge the 25 lbs that somehow disappeared. And why is it that doctor's never take into consideration the amount of muscle you also have. My legs remind me of tanks. They are enormous...not fatty big but muscular big. I would love to know what each one weighs. I never realized why the coaches in high school always wanted me to play football until now. So I will remain losing weight until I feel I've reached where I want to be. Please people don't think I'm this huge cow that takes up two seats on a plane...I'm just a big guy...I don't think I could ever be really thin or even look thin because Dr. Golden told me that my bone structure is above average. He said I could lose 5000 lbs but never be thin looking because I'm too thick in the bone structure department. See I knew cheese would do me good in the long run. So there goes the dreams of being an Abercrombie & Fitch model. I guess I'll have to settle for Big and Tall...eww...

And if you want to see something fucking hilarious please visit this link: Thong Song Hippo