The barrier I once held is slowly fading

Loving someone is never easy. Especially when you are the person that is devoted to that person but their feelings aren't intense as your own. Summer who many of you know from my past was that one girl that I was insanely "in love" with. This was not puppy love or lust it was the kind of love where you would bleed yourself dry for the person. Needless to say it never worked out and from that point on I told myself that I would never allow myself to love like that again. I put a barrier around my heart/emotions. I've let it stay there for years now. I have never looked for anyone because I was afraid of what could happen again and the thought of it and the pain I went through with Summer made the wall that enclosed my heart grow stronger and stronger everyday. However, I am now starting to let myself love or at least acknowledge the notion of love again. I am so just "head over heels" right now I don't know what to do with myself. I find myself constantly thinking about Rafael. Yeah yeah yeah...he is a guy but I have separated myself from loving for so long I don't care if the person were half man and half woman that I'm not worried about being with or living an alternate lifestyle. I saw this happen with Constance and she is happier than she has ever been. So from the above paragraph you can tell that there must be something special about Rafael and there is. He and I talk for hours on AIM and time just stands still when I'm talking to him. I cannot get enough. I even try to chat with him at work if he is online on my phone. Yes there is the notion of the physical attraction but more over the conversation out weighs all of the physicality of the situation. I'm just hoping that he will feel the same way in the long run. I know I'm not the most attractive person and that he isn't 100% attracted to me but I'm hoping that the inner person is what will make him feel as I do. Actually I'm not sure how he really feels...he has told me that he does enjoy very much talking with me and that we will sometime from now start talking over the phone. Neither of us is ready for talking over the phone yet. Also he told me that if things work out as they are now he wouldn't mind me coming to see him at UAB (University of Alabama) in four months or so. I'm so proud of myself for finally starting to be the person I've always known I've been since I was 10. I am letting it be known that yes I am attracted to men and women and that's just me. I have no control over how God made me and I think deep down inside God just wants us to be happy and at the present time Rafael is filling that void I had in my life. Pray for me that things will work out and I'll finally have someone to call my own.

Love ya'll...is it that obvious that I'm falling?