Through the looking glass

When I look in the mirror all I see is a reflection of a person confused, angry and lifeless. I am that which I have feared. Lost. I am who I am but I feel that there is more in the world for me. There is so much more for me to experience, touch, see, taste and love but sometimes I wonder if I will ever get the opportunity to make such dreams come true.

I am alone. I am lonely.

I want for there to be more in my life. Sometimes I crave the life of others just to know what it is like to live. Yes I live but do I really "live?" I feel like my life is at a standstill. It has gone stagnent. I want to make this now tattered cloth into a kite that flies freely. I want to breathe new life into myself. I want change.

More importantly I want love. I want the type of love that lasts for all eternity. I want a love that fills my body so that only it is what I need to live, to breathe. I want a love that cries rivers of sadness but at the same time brings the one joy from the hundred griefs it has caused. I want love to redeem me. I want that which has betrayed me before.

I just want peace.