Can you say....Belinda Carlisle was on crack in the 80's?

Well I can certainly say that she was. Do you remember that song...Oh Heaven is a place on Earth? Well I do and she was either high on crack or full of shit when she wrote it. The lyrics should of went something like this:

Oh baby fuck the world
Oh Hell is a place on Earth
They say Hell and then stress comes first
Oooo Belinda you made a fucked up verse!!

Why such the angry tone? Hmmmmm....bigger hmmmmmmmmm to the tenth cubed degree. I've decided that the "Weekend Bitch Fairy" came to visit me. Yes not just one day but two days in a row. Thank God I'm not a female who was on their rag because damn some bitches would have been blown the fuck up at work!! If not myself first!! Problem number one of 7,890! Service levels were shit fried in more shit and topped with shit covered nuts!! Shitty Shit Shittin Sundae! Not bad enough!! Desi calls out because she is sick!! I'm alone...so very alone....not bad enough....she calls out the next day and then shit levels return and then a fight!! I thought damn....Holyfield and Tyson are about to get the fuck ready to rumble. I was about to call the Animal Control because they need some type of rabeas shot or something! But I'm over it...except for some other petty shit that will be handled at a later date.

So now I have to tell you about the "Food Fairy." She came to visit me last night at Denny's....yes and she made me dump marinara sauce on myself. Fuck that veggie tale bitch!! She is so lucky that I can't have her turned into a tossed salad. I made a picture of her torturing me to send to my friend Gina in Germany! I'd tear that stupid bitch up and have her lettuce wings with some ranch dressing...and the her carrott legs with some dressing and then her apple head would be fried in butter, and her orange body dumped in the trash! Evil Hooker of Health!!

I think that someone at work has something against me! I'm going to get to the bottom of it!! Even if I have to sniff my way throught it! But actually I like this person and I'm going to have a meeting with them Friday to discuss some things!! Wish me luck!! I might sufficate!

Attack of the killer flying white napkins Part I

Angel: Can you give me a ride home Paul?
Paul: Sure get in the jeep....it's cold.
Angel: Oh it's okay why is your window fogging up?
Paul: I don't know let me turn on the defrost....
Angel: AHHHHHHHHH!!! What the fuck?

(Angel was attacked by flying napkins...they were all white...she felt threatened...she said I had to write about it! It was fucking hilarious!!! I wish you could have been there....but then again it probably wouldn't of happened if you were there.) Angel don't worry us honkies are okay...now if it would have blown up in you face and been like one of those hats we said that it looked like then you would be sushi!! But hey it was only a napkin!! Ha...ha...LMAO!!!

(*Note: Please be careful to bring in rodents or white napkins to Angel...she has a phobia for each of these...one a live animal....two a piece of dormant paper...go figure?)

Later masturbator!!!

Paul