Flight of Fancy

On my way to work tonight I listened to the song "Echo" by the band Trapt. It reminded me off Summer. You know the girl who I loved to no end and would eventually break my heart. Then I wondered if the impact she had on me made me trust women in general less. Was I that scorned that it plays a part in my perception of a relationship with a woman can truly be? I don't know. I know who I am. I am extremely comfortable with my sexuality now but I have to wonder if she had anything to do with me turning out the way I have. I have always kept females close to me as friends. I can't say I have ever let anyone in as much as I did with Summer. It is like I already know how it will turn out if I do let them in. That is why I choose not to let people get too close to me. With Cheri it is a different story. She honestly is my missing link. We finish and compliment each other. But, I do realize that it is better to remain friends. That way there is no reason for us to ever become separated due to some stupid argument that generally happens in a relationship. People (especially April and Erin) told me that I have to let go of Summer. But, it just isn't that easy. Let's see it has been about 4 years since I last saw her but I still think of her often. Maybe it is because she was my first love or maybe it is because she hurt me so bad that I just can't push her out of my mind. Whatever the case I need to start forgetting about the past and worry about what lies ahead in the future.

Just a thought. Night everyone.