I would rock your world but you're just too ugly

I have no clue what it is but on the way home everyday I think I have managed to see the prettiest monsters commuting to and from. Hello monsters are only supposed to come out at night. Wait a minute...I work at night but I'm certainly foxy. At least I have sexy ass eyes that most people cannot compete with. Michael asked me if I wore mascara and curled my eyelashes because I have beautiful eyes.

I was like "Sahh...Tsk...No...Oh..my...gaa...natural." If that doesn't scream queen then I don't know what does. But I must say that if I wear eyeliner my eyes are even more stunning. I could melt you with them. Just kidding. I can only undress you with them.

Anyway, back to the subject. This lady was following ever so closely to me on the way home and she was applying make-up. All I wanted to say to her was that I didn't think Covergirl, MaxFactor, Clinique, Wet n Wild, or anything other brand of facial crayon was going to improve what is already horrendous and/or permanenetly fucked up by nature. It's just not possible. I wish I could have applied for her to be on The Swan. But then I would be afraid she would just turn out looking like an Ostrich. Or better yet...an ugly duckling...yahh..haa...ha. Yeah I realize it wasn't funny. But seriously if you know you are ugly wear a mask. It is the only thing that shields my beautiful eyes from your ugly face. Oh that is really mean. But hey I'm aloud to say it. That is why I only surround myself with beautiful people. Or people I think are attractive. Not that I think I'm God's gift to the world but hey I'm not bad at all.

I'm mysterious looking when I have black hair. With blonde I'm exactly that...a ditzbag. Any...time to run.