Whoa Nelly!

Happy Mudda Day...

I hope that mothers across the world enjoyed their special day yesterday. I went to get my mother flowers on Saturday night and had to stand in line for over 25 minutes. Now mind you it was 10:45 p.m. and the lines were that bad. And to top it all off my mother was still awake when I went home so I had to give her the flowers then. She ruined the surprise as I was going to put the flowers in a vase and have them sitting in the kitchen for her on Sunday morning. But all that really matters is that she liked them.

I was in Baltimore all day on Saturday visiting with my Granny, Aunt Ganda, and Aunt Velma. We had a good time. Saturday night I went to April's for her birthday party. God how I love her macaroni salad.

I found out yesterday evening that the cookout that my cousin had for mother's day turned into a brawl. My Aunt Cathy married some alcoholic who we all think is very strange. Let's just say we were all surprised when we heard she married this man. It is number three for her. So, what I was told was that my aunt was filling out mother's day cards at her van and hubby came up yelling at her (because he is loaded at this point) and throws the van keys at her missing her and her niece by inches. Well they get into a screaming match and he is all "Fuck your family" and "Fuck you whore." Well my Aunt Velma hears all of this and goes outside to try to control the situation and he calls my Aunt Velma "A low life fucking bitch" and tells her to keep "her fucking nose out of it." Well my Aunt Velma punches him in the face and then my Aunt Cathy punches him in the face five more times for what he was saying to her sister. Then my uncle Keith comes out and hears what he is saying to his wife (Aunt Velma) and he knocks the shit out of Hubby #3 and gets a metal baseball bat out of his truck and runs after Hubby #3 and swings and luckily Hubby #3 trips and the bat misses his head. Needless to say Hubby #3 runs and no one knows where he is. Now the thing is that he is a really nice guy when he is sober but that is never the case. He found out about a week ago he has throat cancer and had signed a paper so my aunt who is his wife could not get any information about what was going on with the cancer. How fucked up is that? And, he called my aunt a whore last week and said she was no good trash. My family is far from trash believe me. Very far from trash so it is an insult to the whole family when he said this to her. Also, he called our family trash so I do not think he will be coming around to any family events soon. If anyone is trash it is him. A low life who depends on Jack Daniels to cure everything.

Doesn't that sound like the type of Mother's Day cookout you would like to attend? I thought so.