"My Goodness"

I think if I recall correctly that Shirley Temple says this in every movie she made. With that she puts her little hand above her head and scratches it with her pointer finger. She was so cute and grew into a beautiful woman. I have no clue why I'm writing about Shirley Temple aside that I remember ooing on trips with my cousin Stacy when we were younger and my Aunt Cathy would take us to this restaurant somewhere in Annapolis, MD or so and we would order Shirley Temples. I don't know why I remember that but I do.

I don't remember much from my childhood. I rely mostly on relatives to tell me things that I used to do and can never seem to remember them even when they tell the stories. I remember certain things due to my Uncle Dave filming them. The one episode in the park which is beyond incriminating and embarassing. Imagine a child in spandex bike shorts and a lime green I.O.U. shirt doing cheerleading with his amazon cousin Stacy (she towered over me then and still does) and my cousin by marriage (no blood relation) Crystal (who I almost slept with one time at my Aunt Velma's house). All you hear is my big squeaky voice doing some cheer that I thought was cool at the time. Place that with the fact that I was so flamboyant that the QE team had nothing on me and you see what I'm talking about.

Anyway, that is in the past. My favorite childhood memory is:

When Stacy and I were both living in Brooklyn, MD which is right outside of Baltimore City we were playing Barbies in her room on the bed. Now Stacy always had the latest and greatest of Barbie. We were playing getting them ready for the daily ball that all Barbies attend. Stacy was brushing her dolls hair and the head popped off. She was upset but figured out that you could just push it back on. Well she pushed a little too tight and the head ate the neck. It was the true meaning behind head and shoulders. She asked me...

"Does she look okay with not having a neck?"

I said, "No she looks like shit Stacy...how many people do you see walking around with no necks? She can't go to the ball looking a mess like that."

Stacy replied, "You are so mean. Gimme your doll. You get the ugly one with the bad hair."

She snatched my glamously done Barbie and gave me some haggard doll.

I replied, "That's okay I can work miracles even on your twin."

She ran downstairs crying and I laughed.

I knew at that moment I was headed toward utter fabulousness. I knew at that moment I was a total "Bitch." And I've reigned ever since.

Memories.