Nerves

I am so nervous right now. I have to tell my grandparents that I am engaged. I know that it is happy news but for some odd reason I am nervous about having to say. It is just big news. I know that my grandparents are going to go all spastic and be overjoyed but I'm nervous. I never thought I would say that I was engaged to a woman.

Now let me explain this marriage. First of all Cheri and I have decided that this is an open marriage. If she wants to have a boy or girl friend or if I want a boyfriend she and I can have one. The reason that we are getting married is truly because we love each other. We have talked for hours on the subject and realize that we both offer each other what we have been looking for for a long long time. We offer each other unconditional love, trust, friendship, emotional support. We are non-judging of each other, always able to express our emotions to each other, we have a relationship that is not effected by sex which we feel really destroys a lot of relationships. Yeah we have talked about having kids which yes will happen. Wether it be the natural way or invetro it will happen. Cheri's mother Yong Mai told Cheri today that Apo and Apu (the Mardarin word for grandmother and grandfather) will love me because I am a very kind and generous person. Also that I have a nice and beautiful face will make them like me even more. So it is good to know that Cheri's mother supports us. We are not planning the wedding for any time soon but we are still engaged. Cheri's mother is buying my wedding band in Taiwan and bringing it back. Cheri's mother loves Cheri's ring so I am happy for that. I just have to save up to get the wedding band for Cheri...it is another $1500. Oh and did I mention that after our wedding here we are going to Taiwan to stay with her family and getting married there as well. I was told last night that we have to have a Chinese wedding too. Also I was taught the proper customs last night for a wedding in Taiwan. Cheri is making the attempt to teach me as much as possible. I told her and her mother that I am willing to learn as much as they are willing to teach me. I am going to have Cheri to teach me so Mandarin so that I can try to communicate with her grandparents and relatives to a point. I know it will not be easy but I want to learn.

So anyway, I'm excited that I now have a fiancee and I am someone's fiance. I never thought I would be this excited about getting married....but I am. And I can actually get married. It sucks that if I find someone (a guy) I can't marry him yet...I mean I can but not in every state. That needs to be changed. And yes we have thought about if someone else wants to marry us that they will just have to deal with being with us knowing that we are already married. Yeah I know this sounds like a big old mess but truly neither of us see the relationship ever really being more than just the two of us. We just want to have the option.