I Need The Economy Sized Church Fan Please

Do I really need to support the title? I think not this is self explanatory.



Aside from this picture I was watching "30 Minute Meals" last night when a commercial came on featuring Sally Field(s). Sorry I don't remember if the "Flying Nun's" last name is with or without the "s". Anywho, the commerical is for some new fangled arthritis pill. The most important thing about it is 1) that it helps Sally Field(s) with her arthritis 2) that most doctor's should be familiar with the product 3) it is readily available at your doctor's office 4) it sounds like a person's name. This medical miracle is to be known as "Boniva".

Hearing this I immediately say to my mother:

"I am going to go to the doctor's to get my very own Boniva. She will be the best friend a fag can have. They even provide her in sample form so that if I am not satisfied with Boniva she doesn't even cost me anything. Sally Field(s) you crazy bitch why have you been keeping Boniva a secret until now? You should be ashamed of yourself. Trying to hide my new best friend Boniva from me. Shame on you M'lynn. That is why Julia died. You tried to hide Boniva from us and look where it got you. With a dead diabetic daughter."

At this point my mother thinks I am totally insane but chimes in with:

"You know I would prefer her name be Bunquiva. I could have my very own as well. And Bunquiva spreads herself all over town as she lets everyone sample her. Bunquiva the Hooker."

Need I say more?