The Weekend Recap

Friday, August 11, 2006: (6:36 p.m.)

Leave my house, go to Bed, Bath, & Beyond to get two melon ballers so that my Aunt Velma and I can make a huge fruit salad for my Uncle Keith's sister's wedding on Saturday.

9:36 p.m. Finally get to Aunt Velma's house and relax for about an hour before starting to make pineapple trees for display.

4:00 a.m. Finish balling fruit and get to lay down.

5:30 a.m. Fall asleep

Saturday, August 12, 2006: (8:30 a.m.)

Am woken up by Cocoa and Aunt Velma to beging the day.

10:30 a.m. Start doing my cousin Destiny's hair. And let me tell you it was the shit. It took 2.5 hours and a shit load of bobbi pins to complete and fresh flowers but it was well worth it.
4:00 p.m. Arrive at wedding. Eat, talk, smoke, blah blah blah.

7:00 p.m. Make the decision to take shots of Smirnoff Raspberry Vodka with Lisa (Uncle Keith's other sister...the party girl).

Time: All blurry but here are some of the events that take place:

Steal the microphone from the D.J. to announce the cutting of the cake. Speech begins with "Hello Bitches it is Duncan Hines time. Get your asses to the cake table."

Drunken Hula-hooping. Naked asses under grass skirts. Streaking. Chicken Dance with Lisa. Stealing of the brides shoes and losing of my own. Tons of cussing and laughing and partying. Lose my dinner. Get to my car and pass out.

10:30 p.m. Get back to Aunt Velma's house and pass out on the couch.

Sunday, August 13, 2006: (9:30 a.m.)

Still not fully sober. Get in 67 degree water pool to sober up. Almost get stung by a colony of bees thanks to Keith's mother. Get a shower. Can't find my shoes they are still in Pennsylvania. Borrow someone random sandals.

12:00 p.m. At party shop getting decorations and stuff for Keitter's 15th birthday (my cousin). Go get food.

2:00 p.m. Completely sober and having a bitch as time in the pool.

9:30 p.m. Finally get home and go to bed at...

1:00 a.m. and I am back up at 5:15 a.m.

Thank you very much Smirnoff for a fabulous weekend.