Crosswords and the Drag-Monster

I find myself doing about three to four crossword puzzles a night. I find them very entertaining. I will sit in my bed with the Golden Girls playing and listen to them as I am doing the puzzle. Does this make me even geekier than I already am? I mean I am not a geek by no means. I keep up with the latest and greatest in terms of what a poor white gay boy can afford. But, there is this nagging idea that I am doing something an old maid or old man would do. Like I should have hair growing out of my ears, nose, and any other bodily hole. Yeah, I just threw up a little bit from that thought too. Bad mental picture...bad. That is the type of mental picture that stays with you for a while like that time you caught ganasyphaherpalaids.

And speaking of mental pictures I was watching some show on the human anatomy one time and they showed what a testicle looks like outside of the scrote. It has haunted me for years. I can still see it like I were in front of the television that day. It is horrific and to think that I have two of them. Maybe having a surgery to get rid of them? What am I saying? Scratch the whole thing. Again...bad mental picture...bad.

I hope that everyone has a pleasant 4th of July as I will be doing nothing. I will most likely go to April's since Adam has to work. It is a shame that we can't go see Irena Jackson. And for those of you that don't know you better find her on myspace. Irean Jackson with a postal code within twenty miles of 80201. She is either the ugliest woman I have ever seen or the prettiest monster. Shit that bitch is a Shakespearean tragedy.

Eight Legs? You better think again bitch...

This morning I walked into our showroom to see the largest spider that I have seen in about a year or two. This bitch was about the size of a half dollar if not bigger. Seriously. The damn thing scurried so fast I barely noticed it. And color. Oh sweet Jesus. It was the color of mashed bananas. I jumped back petrified that the evil Arac-beast was going to lunge at me. Well she ran away but then came running over toward me again. I took my beast killer and stepped on her. Then I jumped back from the shear grossness of it all. Got the willies and decided that I needed to smoke a cigarette in memorium. Now I am terrified to wear my open toe sandals for fear that her mother or father will come to seek revenge for their newly deceased daughter. Oh but my fear of spiders is so tremendous.

What I can't see won't hurt me...right?

Throw Back Bitch

I have taken it upon myself to name Christina Aguilera the most incredible artist ever. Though she went very...actually she went extremely slutty there for a while she has managed to pick her matted hair up out of that gutter and reclaim her position as the 1950's Pin-up whore we all knew she could be. And yes I am calling her a whore but a whore is so much better than a slut. A slut is so high school and skanky. But a whore. Let me tell you that is class. At least with the whores I know. So do not take it the wrong way. Do not get it twisted people. I am in love with her new song and listen to it for a good portion of the day at AOL Music. I just need to get some money together to download it to my iPod. And I have learned that you should not download videos into your iPod because it is edited. So then you have to download the video and the song if you do not want the censorship in the song. You aren't getting anymore of my money Mr. iPodiTunesiLiketochargealotofmoney Incorporated. Hah-uh. Them days if ovah.

Anyway, if you haven't heard the new Christina Aguilera song please listen to it as it is very good and gets my stamp of approval. And that is really all that you need to know as the Princess of Glitterdom has spoken.

Be gone.

What a work of art

I went to the back doctor yesterday and damn if history is not repeating itself. I found out from my fall last Saturday down four steps that I have managed to screw up the communication between my back and legs. That is why I have been getting a least 40 muscle spasms a night in my legs. I have to have an MRI done with dye. I hate the dye because it makes you feel queezy and hot. But, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. The doctor put me on duragesic patches and some type of muscle relaxant. The meds have me feeling weird. My thoughts are not 100% together and I keep typing letters inverted. I'm not high though. It makes me tired too.

I am going to see some band tomorrow night with Jenn. I am very excited. I have not seen her in probably two years so it will be a treat. Sunday I want to go to Rockville to the Asian Market and the movies. If not Rockville then I may coax Jenn into going to Pride in D.C. with Cheri. I have to support my people. Us bi-homo-lesbo-sexuals have to stick together.

I'm going to potty like it's my burfday...oh wait...

I am 26 today. Yippy ki-yah with pink glitter sparkle passion. The only problem is that so far the day has been shit. I have only been awake for about 1.5 hours and already the day is overwhelming. Traffic this morning on the way to work was horrible and my drive was over an hour. Top that off with a killer migraine. My head feels like it is about to levitate off of my neck and burst into a pile of confetti. As long as this confetti is pink glitter sparkles it is okay. Anything other than that I would consider a disaster.

Hopefully, the day will go a little better than the morning has. If not I am seriously thinking about retiring to a cave for the next oh let's say...twelve months.