I'll never understand...

Sometimes I think that it is great to enjoy work. At other times I think that I could go postal and kill all the people that I fucking work with. Working with a bunch of guys is very taxing. Actually, I'd trade almost all of them in for females. While other females think that other females are bitches and blah blah blah I don't. They are the only people that I have actually been ablet to relate to. It is like they accept me for who I am and they don't question me or my personality. It has been that way since I was in school.

At work tonight I was iming with Ralphy and of course it had to be on my phone because this computer doesn't allow software to be downloaded. When a new message would come in the phone would make a sound that is one of the ringers. Well everyone thought it would be funny to name that tone a call to the mothership. It is not like it is a big deal but they kept on constanly nagging me about the tone making fun of it. I'm like what the fuck is your deal. Grow the fuck up and get over it. Guys are fucking so immature. That is why I don't have many male friends...if you can say that I have any at all. So I finally decided to call Ralphy and talk to him over the phone because I knew it would be easier. It was and I'm glad that I got to talk to him tonight. I wish I lived near him....he is such an awesome person.

At any rate I have work to do but I just needed to bitch a little before I went off the handle and fucking said something that I don't need to say. And we all know how bad my mouth is when I get pissed off....let alone my temper.

Night all.

P.S. One reason I would never become a truck driver and I have thought about this for some reason. All they talk about is women and the routes that they run. Get a fucking life....PLEASE!

P.S.S. Shannon one of the drivers just threw something at me and hit me in the head telling me to stop surfing the net and get to work. Monday he may have flat tires. If he plays his cards right...I may put stricnine in his coffee. No really!!

Burn Out

I survived until 7a.m. this morning. I didn't think that I would make it through work last night. It was one of the most hectic nights we have had in a long time. I'm hope tonight does not offer a repeat performance. I was heading to Baltimore in the a.m. but, I think that I may just wait until next weekend. April has invited me to go camping tomorrow night. And please note that I have never been camping. Me doing this is like Paris and Nicole heading out in last seasons The Simple Life...it is a very foreign territory.

I actually asked April is there was electricity where we would be going. She of course replies with that word that makes me cringe...."NO."

How are you supposed to do your hair, watch television, cook, and above all surf the net?

Thank God for modern living.

Truth Be Told
 
When I was younger the thought of sex never really crossed my mind.  When I finally realized what sex was I was about 11 years old.  It then did not really hold any fascination.  But then I was involved in a game of Truth or Dare.  This game can be quite fun if you play it correctly.  I was dared to kiss a boy.  I couldn't believe someone would actually dare me to do this.  Should I? Shouldn't I?  That played in my mind for about two seconds and then I decided to do it.  I was 11 when I had my first real kiss and it was with a boy named Chris.  Little did I know that I would spend 9 years of my life being devoted to him.  Giving him my mind, time, and my virginity.  I was 12 at that point.  Sometimes I regret being so young and having sex but then I think of all the times we played this out and how happy he made me.  I wish I knew where he was.  
  
100 Things About Me.  I got bored at work and did this.

The Early Bird Doesn't Eat Worms
 
So I had to come to work early again tonight.  I am the early bird.  However, I only eat chicken and vegetables and some soy based products. 

Work so far has been slow.  I'm reading "Interview With The Vampire" for the fourth time.  I finished "Tale of the Body Theif" the other night.  I so love IWTV.  It is probably my favorite book next to "The Broken Diaries" and anything by William Shakespeare.  But enough I'm out for now to read and eat some Chick-Fil-A.  I'll post more tonight.

Sheerah vs. Sheerah
 
When I was a child I used to spend a lot of my time at either my Aunt Velma's or my Aunt Cathy's.  At my Aunt Velma's I was treated like an adult and my aunt indirectly molded me into the person that I am today.  This was due to spending so much time with her and my Uncle Keith.  I miss those days.  Any other time I was away from the house I was at my Aunt Cathy's because that is where my two cousins lived:  Stacy and Allen.  Here I was just that a child.  This is where my imagination flowed and hours of playing ensued.  I had boat loads of fun when I was there.  Stacy and I would play Barbies for hours and hours on end.  When my Aunt would come home she would always yell at us for me playing Barbies with Stacy.  Like it had some weird affect on me.  I wasn't supposed to play with dolls.  Nonetheless, she would let us continue to play.  Secretly I think she knew as did my Aunt Velma of the boy who played with dolls.  It would upset me that playing with Stacy and her dolls was such a big deal.  I mean it is a toy.  Nothing more.  Regardless of if I had permission or not I would play with them anyway.  Oh but what memories I have of being there with Stacy, myself, and the bundles Barbies and accessories.  On the rare occassion that Stacy and I lent ourselves to play with Allen we would be most creative.  Creating haunted houses in the basement, making forts out of sofa cushions, sheets, and yardsticks, and above all we always pretended to be superheros.  Allen would sometimes be a G.I. Joe, pirate or Heman.  Yes, that is what he was most of all.  Heman.  Stacy would pretend to be a damsil in distress, a princess with the ability to alter reality or see the future, and above all characters to be she would pick Sheerah.  This is where the problem occurred.  You see I would play that hero's foe, an evil king, an imp or fairy (no really!!).  But above all I wanted to be Sheerah.  We would settle the disputes over who could play who and move on.  I would usually be told the same thing "You're not a girl so you can't be Sheerah."  With imagination still comes a touch of reality.  Then it came to the point of the last straw being broke.

When the Heman movie came out on video it just so happened that my Aunt Cathy was having a party so everyone was together and to keep us youngin's occupied we had the movie.  Stacy, Allen and I headed to the basement with blankets, pillows, snacks, and our action figures in hand.  We began watching the movie.  Allen was the first to say that he was Heman (which is totally a closted homosexual character), Stacy and I were the last to pick characters.  Stacy kept telling me she couldn't decide between Skeletor and Sheerah.  I knew I wanted to be Sheerah but didn't say anything at first.  When I finally spoke up it was followed by "No I'm Sheerah.  You have to be Skeletor."  At this point my blood began to boil at being told "no" again by Stacy and Allen.  We bickered back and forth for about two or three minutes and then began to physically fight.  Allen began to scream and laugh at us.  It was like to girls in a mud wrestling contest.  No holds bar.  I ripped out Stacy's hair.  She punched me in the nose.  I bit her.  She tried to put me in a headlock.  Regardless of what we did to each other it still didn't solve who could be who.  Our parents finally came in and seperated us.  They asked us why we were fighting.  I would not answer because I didn't want anyone to know it was over me wanting to play Sheerah.  For some reason I think Stacy knew how much it would hurt me if we told the truth so she said that "Paul wanted to be Skeletor and I told him he couldn't be and we started fighting."  Our parents made us apologize to each other and we laid back down together, Stacy and I,  with my hand around her we finished watching the movie.  I still think of this and always remember that I forgot to tell her "thank you."

My Virginal Entry
 
This is officially my first entry to my new address.  How exciting.  I am sort of sad that I had to change the address...I mean I have had the original for almost two years.  But it is better off this way.  Thank you everyone for the words of encouragement that my new home is being welcomed.

Are house is basically sold.  Actually the first people that came by to see the house bought it.  I will miss my house.  I mean I have lived there since I was 12 and now I'm 24.  So a big chunk of my life is there.  That is where I had my parties for turning 16, 18, 21 and my graduation.  This is where we have had Christmas with the family for years.  It is where someone tried to have sex in our bathroom downstairs in the basement.  This is where I fell after back surgery because I was drunk and some other stuff.  Those were the days.  But I am excited to move into a new house.  Actually it is an old house...a victorian style home.  With big rooms, hardwood floors, and a killer porch.  Plus the whole aspect of redecorating is appealing.  And my room will be like 3 times its size now.  So off with the old and movin' in with the new.

Anywho, I came into work two and a half hours early tonight.  I am dragging.  Not much sleep.  I went about bought Alice Through the Looking Glass...the one that was made for t.v.  It isn't made anymore so a friend of mine that works at a video store watched out for me and finally found a copy of it.  Then I had to get a hair cut because let me just tell you....afro city.  And I decided to get my eyebrows waxed and shaped again.  This time it hurt...really really bad.  But it is worth it.  Now I have cute eyebrows and no redness.  Don't know how that happened but I didn't get red from all the hair pullin.

But I need to get back to work.  Hope everyone is well!!

Relocation Station
 
I just wanted to inform everyone that my journal would be going to a new address.  I want my journal to be more private than it is at the current time.  It seems like people like to read my journal and hold things against me that I write about so that is going to stop.  If you want my new address shoot me an email but please do not link it on your site.  In the meantime, April, Amanda, Erin, No Milk, Patrick, Shamus, and Wayne you will be the only one's with access to the new address.

Ta ta for now.

Petty Patty
 
I came in to work tonight to read a very harsh email from one of my co-workers.  Let's see where to begin.  Friday night I had asked Sherry B. if it would be okay if I left at 6am instead of 7am because I had a wedding to go to in the morning.  Sherry B. by the way is in charge of vacation and leave and she said it was okay.  I told her I would only leave if everything were caught up and there were no horrific events going on.  Well 6am came and I was caught up and everything was running smoothly.  I had asked our day shift person Pat if she wanted me to stay because I would.  She kept saying it wasn't her decision.  I told her I realized that but I wanted to make sure that me leaving an hour early wouldn't effect her.  She said it was okay to leave as long as I had informed Sherry B. and my boss John L. of the situation.  I told her this had already been done.  Well here is what comes in the 1st shift handoff from Saturday (this went to everyone by the way):

"Paul H. left at 6:00 am. Short notice of a wedding. Paul, I know you may think I am nitpicking but everything was not completed when you left. Route Se had been assigned to Gary M and with him not showing up it should have been deleted and assigned to Mark L. Also Shannon did a power swap with the Se driver, and sent a message about this of which was acknowledged by you but did not execute. And I was creating the load sheet and had another task to perform to these loads before they can be assigned. It would have been nice to have had you here doing the metric while I was doing this. But none the less it got done."

Let's see I did the power swap...this is just assigning a truck to a driver...the trucks are called powers.  Little did I know that the driver actually gave the pwr to someone else.  The message Shannon sent in made it seem like he got rid of one truck and went into another truck.  So that was my bad...he actually gave the truck to someone so the power swap I did should have not went on Shannon but on another driver.  As for the route I should have took it off of Gary and put it on Mark but it didn't click to do so.  Let me specify that these two things I overlooked take about a total of 5-7 minutes to complete.  I actually showed Johannes my co-worker tonight and it took me under 3 minutes so I'm being generous in the time it would have taken considering Pat types extremely slow. 

The following is the email that Pat recieved from our manager about the whole situation:

"Pat,

One word of caution in your e-mail regarding Paul H: It is usually best to give someone that kind of feedback in a personal e-mail and, at most, copy me in only. All team members need to know how their decisions impact the rest of the team. However, while it is important to let team members know when they drop a pass, it is normally a good idea to discuss it privately, and if that is unsuccessful, then with his/her direct supervisor (in this case, me).A good rule of thumb is to "counsel in private, and praise in public".

Paul,Let's talk when you get a chance."

Oh I just know she is going to be heated when she reads this.  I actually called John tonight and woke him up to talk about this.  He said that Pat should have never written all that for everyone to see and that I was in the right because I had permission to leave at 6am.  He also said that the two things that were forgotten were so minor that it shouldn't have been an issue in the first place.  John was extremely pissed on the phone at Pat's pettiness.  John told me that Pat acts like she never makes mistakes and that the two things I forgot to do could have been forgotten by anyone because they were that "not important."  I also got a big pat on the back for not being angry about the situation and told that I am the best employee when it comes to data entry and accuracy that John has on his crew at the present time.  He said that my accuracy is at 100% and that my learning curve is astounding.  He said he still can't believe how I pick up information and how I want to take on more. 

So Pat a word to the wise "I will let this petty bullshit go this go around but the next time I will make sure to point out the shit that you forget to do on a daily basis that I have to do when I come in."  And yes my fellow bloggers there are things that are supposed to be done by the time I come in that aren't my responsibility that I have to do.  Take for instance the route never being changed...that is a first shift responsiblity.   So Pat, why didn't you do the route change since that is your responsibility?"  How about the numerious routes I have had to edit and add for the past two weeks because you neglected to do them? 

I have never said anything about having to do why Pat has left undone at work.  I do it and move on.  So as you can see yes I am a little pissed that she would do this and then send it to everyone.  I have never said or sent an email regarding what Pat has neglected to do so there is room for me being pissy about it.  But I'll be pissy online and let John and Sherry handle Pat in the a.m.

God people can be so fucking evil when it comes to petty shit.

 

Just a day...just an ordinary day...
 
Yesterday I never made it to the wedding.  1/4 because I was tired and 3/4 because I really didn't want to go.  Yeah I'm coming out.  I didn't want to go.  Actually I had no desire to buy someone I barely know a wedding present and pretend I'm having a great time.  So instead of going to a wedding I headed up to April's and we headed to Virginia to go shopping.  They now have Super Targets.  I'm like totally freakin. 

I bought myself a new chenille throw, a birthday card with Martha Stewart on the front and ideas for crafts on the inside (not typical crafts), Hello Kitty Lip Balm in 6 flavors, The Simple Life on DVD, a cherry coke and The Last Samurai on DVD.  Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton are now my new role models.  I mean if given the chance don't tell me you wouldn't be some heiress twit with endless cash flow and a jet setting life.  Because you would so take it just like me.  Except I would be Nicole Ritchie because she has curves unlike Paris Hilton who is a walking upside down mop...with way over processed hair.

At any rate, I'd be having more fun if I were them today than myself.  Today is just an ordinary day.

Count me in...err..out
 
So today I'm supposed to go to Cheri and Michael's friend Becky's wedding.  I want to go and everything but I just don't see it happening.  First off I don't get off work until 7am.  So not much sleep will be seen.  But more importantly my sinus' are acting up again.  I'm at work now and have managed to puke several times.  There is nothing worse than puking at work.  Okay going to the bathroom at work is up there but puking...ehhh.  So I'm thinking that I may have the parents take me to the hospital to have some chest x-rays done.  This congestion bullshit is getting on my nerves.  Not to mention that my back is now hurting from all the hurling.  I took two of my pain meds earlier.  I can't find the rest of them.  So I have probably lost them yet again.  I had several in an Aleve bottle and the rest in a baggie.  I have no clue where they are.  They were in my messenger bag with the Aleve bottle but now they aren't.  My mother is always telling me just to give them to her so that I don't lose them.  Well I did and then she gave them back to me and now they have sprouted legs and jumped ship.  So I don't know what the hell to do now.  I just know I don't want to be at work.  I want to be home in a hot shower and then in my bed.  My body feels like it has been through a war.  I'm running on empty.  I don't eat...well I do but only once a day.  I sleep...but it is not a good solid sleep...I wake up constantly.  I think this weekend I'm staying home and eating chicken noodle soup and staying under a vaporizer and air purifier.  Son of a bitch.

Court Day
 
Well I went to court today for my first ever speeding ticket in Maryland.  The judge was hilarious.  She told us "I will ask you about your driving record.  If you tell the truth good.  If you lie I will pull it up and if you did lie I will make your life hell."  So, I was planning on saying "guilty with an explanation."  I did but she didn't want the explanation...she wanted to know about my driving record.  I told her it was 100% clean and that I had a copy of it for her.  She lowered the fine to $175 and lowered the points from five to two.  So needless to say I now have two points on my license.  I wish I wouldn't have gotten any since this was my first offense but two is better than five.

I came in to work late tonight...with the permission of my boss.  I don't really remember driving here because I was still extremely tired.  I fell asleep several times tonight.  This is bad.  But I think it was due to my sugar being low from not eating all day.  I was shaking and everything so I got a Mountain Dew (which I hate) and drank it for the sugar and caffeine.  I'm okay right now but I could still afford to sleep for about 5 days.  Come on 7am.  I'm ready to go home and go back to sleep!!!

I Told Myself...
 
I wouldn't cry when Erin and Andy left.  I held out until they pulled out of the driveway and now I can't stop crying.  I feel like a big dork.  I wish that both of them could stay out here with me.  I realize now how much Erin really means to me.  She is so wonderful.  She makes me so happy with her and I's quirky sense of humor.  I gave her a big hug and deep down I didn't want to let go.  Even though I didn't get to spend tons of time with her while she was out here I am so thankful for the time we did have.  I know that there is a God now because how else would we experience something so beautiful as LOVE.   It is the most amazing thing I have ever felt in my life and I can't imagine it coming from anywhere else.  Lord I wish you could help me stop crying. Now my nose is running and I've got tears all down my face.  But they are tears of happiness for Erin and a bit of sadness that she is gone again.

I love you Erin.

Lazy Daze
 
*Note:  If anything is misspelled it is because I'm at work and I'm so tired I have fell asleep three times...just joking...only once.
 
When I woke up tonight I took two of my Zyrtek D extended release 12 hour.  Then I laid back down after I got ready for work.  When I got back up I was like "damn I'm tired."  Well little did I know but this shit will make you tired.  So tired that you feel like a zombie.  Later at work I started to wake up and due to the air conditioner being broken my sinus' started to go out of control so I took another Zyrtek D extended release 12 hour.  Well then I notice that I'm falling asleep at the desk.  I bundle up in the chair because I was caught up with work and bam I'm out for a cool 5 minutes.  I look at Johannes and I'm like "I know why I'm tired now.  My fucking sinus' medicine is doing it."  So I have struggled all night to not knod off.  Sherry N. if you read this I know my secret is safe with you homegirl.  Hope your vacay went good. 
 
So needless to say I am finally waking up.  I'm not taking my sinus meds until I get home because if I do take them before I'm afraid I may fall asleep at the wheel and we all know I have bad enough luck being awake and driving.

I Fear The Month After March...
 
So like I said I was supposed to go see Cheryl and April yesterday.  Well my dumbass doesn't set the alarm when I get home because I thought I was just going to stay awake until I had to leave.  My bad.  I fell asleep in a matter of an hour and didn't wake up until 730pm.  By this time I know that April is steaming mad.  I have let her down too often and this just takes the cake.  She has been the only person in my life that has never let me down and has always stuck by me.  I need to start doing the same and stop being so irresponsible when it comes to April and I's friendship.  It is hard though when you work a completely different schedule.  I'm up at night now.  Not during the day...except today of course because my back started hurting.  Anyway, so I am terrified to call her because I know she is fuming.  I can tell by the comment last night.  But I'm going to call her and offer to take her and Adam out to lunch in Frederick to make up for me being such a loser.
 
But before I go I have to tell you about my dream last night.  I rarely remember dreams but for some reason I remembered this one.  I was dating someone.  At first it wasn't clear who I was dating.  All I know is that the relationship held plenty of passion, laughter, happiness, and above all LOVE.  I actually felt like I was "in love" in this dream.  It was almost overwhelming.  The dream like lasted for a month into our relationship until I woke up.  The last thing I remember was that I was buying my boyfriend an antique necklace with a charm on it.  It represented the first movie we had ever seen together.  I never got to give it to you Patrick Doyle!!  because I woke up too soon.  I don't know why it is that I chose you to be the boyfriend in my dream but let me just tell you I was so at peace and happy.  It was like I was on an emotion I had never felt before.  When I woke up I wanted so much for it to be real but then I realized it would never happen because I couldn't fall back to sleep.  So hopefully tonight I'll have a repeat performance.  By the way Patrick the sex was great, we were on vacation with some friends, and both my parents loved you as my boyfriend. 

The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly On The Plain
 
This is one of my favorite lines from "My Fair Lady."  I don't know why I'm thinking of it but I am.  I often think of things out of nowhere and this just happens to be running through my head.  After I went to MAMSI to collect my personal belongings and say goodbye to everyone I couldn't remember the names of everyone and I spent most of the day trying to think of their last names.  I was like "what the fuck?"  It is not like I didn't work with them for almost a year.  How do you forget things so fast?  And about 5-6 minutes ago I finally remember the name of one of my ex co-workers.  It took like 10 hours but I finally remembered.  Does anyone else ever get those nagging questions in their head that you can't figure out and it comes to you like hours or days later.  But the whole time it bugs you constantly that you can't figure out the answer to the question and you know that it is a simple answer which makes it that much worse.  I have had this happen to me tons of times and it drives me absolutely buggy.  And the thing is is that I will think of the same question again maybe a few days later or whatever and again I can't remember the answer to it again.  One of my favorite movies is "Steal Magnolia's."  I have watched this movie a good 175 times.  I love the beginning when Ouiser is at her best being the queen bitch of the movie.  Well I was running through the list of characters both first and last names and I could not for the life of me remember who Darryl Hannah played.  I remember her saying something about her last name being associated with "Zwalie" but could not remember her first name.  I finally remember it like 5 days later...it is Annelle.  So here is the list of characters if ever I should forget again.
 
Sally Field=M'lynn Eatenton
Julia Roberts=Shelby Eatenton Latcherie
Darryl Hannah=Annelle Dupuy Desoto
Dolly Parton=Truvy Jones
Olympia Dukakis=Clairee Blecher
Shirley MacLaine=Ouiser Boudreaux
Tom Skerritt=Drum Eatenton
Dylan McDermott=Jackson Latcherie
Kevin J. O'Connor=Sammy Desoto
Billy McCutcheon=Owen Jenkins
Ann Wedgeworth=Aunt Fern
Knowl Johnson=Tommy Eatenton
Jonathan Ward=Jonathan Eatenton
Nancy Parsons=Janice Van Meter (two pigs fighting over a blanket...one of my favorite lines)
 
Anyway, I am feeling 110% better.  The congestion came back a little tonight but I took my medicine and poof it was off like a prom dress.  Tomorrow I am going to my friend Cheryl's house to spend some time with her and Gwen (both are my co-workers from MAMSI and I love them to death).  Then after I leave there I'm headed to April's house to help her plan the center pieces for her wedding reception.  I think I'm going to sketch a picture tonight to get an idea of what I want.  I'm thinking a reflective mirror on the bottom with a nice ivy and baby's breath wreath sitting on it with a glass hurricane and single white candle.  Something simple yet classic.  April and Adam are paying for the wedding themselves so I'm trying to make it cost effective.  I can make beautiful flower arrangements...my grandmother taught me how to do this.  But at the same time I don't want her to have to pay out the nose for the centerpieces.  You figure when I made Barb's bouquets for her and the bridesmaids she only had to spend $75 and it was for herself and I believe 3-4 bridesmaids.  Barb's bouquet was absolutely gorgeous.  I'll have to see if I can get a picture of it and post it online.  I do all the flower arrangements at my house.  I'll take some pictures and post them so you can see that I am indeed crafty.  And after I leave April's house I'm going out to dinner with Erin and Andy.  I think April and I are going to head to Frederick to go to A.C. Moore craftshop because they are having a huge sale on their flowers.  They do this once a year and the silk flowers are I believe 45-75% off.  So we should be able to get all the flowers and accessories tomorrow.  I can't wait.  I'm hoping that April will let me do the bouquets too.  I don't think she should do fresh flowers because they don't keep that well even if you dry them and I'd like for her to have something that will last forever...just like her marriage.  I am so excited for her getting married.  I really like Adam he is a really cool guy and I think that her makes her extremely happy.  Then Sunday I'm headed to Arundel Mills with Michael and Cheri.  I don't really need anything aside from  my shower gel from The Body Shop.  The scent is Satsuma.  It smells absolutely delightful.  It is like $12 a bottle but it is well worth it.  I'd like to get some new cologne too but I'm not sure what I want this time.  I have a good amount of cologne but I'm ready for a change.  Oh yeah and I want to go to FYE and get a new movie.  This will bring my collection to around 430 if I get a new movie.  It is getting out of hand but I'm such a movie freak. 
 
Hopefully, we will get to go to the movies too.  I'm looking forward to seeing both Michael and Cheri.  I want to go to dinner at DuClaw.  The chicken and mashed potatoes there are to die for.  Plus the restaurant is very nice.  It has an industrial appearance.  They have plasma televisions in the booths.  But we never use them because we like to have those great conversations over dinner.  Hopefully, Michael will have other things to talk about besides himself.
 
Well everyone have a great night and weekend.  I'll be writing more at Pink Haired Girl shortly.  The server there seems to be down.  But anyway....I'm off to do some work.
 
And I want to send a shoutout to Sherry N.'s son.  He is at state competition for baseball.  So best of luck to him.  Bring us home a trophy!!!!!

For Pete's Sake
 
Well let's see.  I finally quit my other job with Mamsi.  I am glad that that is over with.  Anyway, like I had said Monday had proved to be a quite trying day at work.  But Tuesday....oh Tuesday.  I got up and got ready for work and just before I get ready I get the feeling of "you are about to throw up."  And I do...but this time it is worse.  I start throwing up nasty phlegm and to top it off blood.  I get the chills, light-headedness, cold sweats and the feeling that I'm about to die.  So I try to make it in to work two hours late and when I get here I am told to go home because I didn't look right.  The next morning I go to the ENT and I'm told that I have a severe sinus infection and that if I would have waited a few more days that I would have gotten pneumonia.  So I had to miss another day of work until I could get some meds in me to dry up the infection.  Anyway, get my father to bring the doctor's note over to work and everything is covered.  Then I get a phonecall today from Aerotek the people that have hired me out saying that my manager called in and was worried about me missing the past several days and that it is a red flag and blah blah blah.  I am freakin.  I'm like I hope I don't lose my job.  So I call my manager John and explain everything to him.  I don't think he realized the whole "throwing up of blood" thing.  I don't know.  So I come in tonight and talk to Sherry who works like big time with John and I'm in tears because I'm afraid that my job is in jeopardy.  She tells me that everything will be okay and to not worry she will talk to John in the morning.  So when I had gotten off the phone with John he seemed to understand but I just hope that he realizes that I love the job and don't plan on going anywhere.  I mean who the hell can help getting that sick.  But I'm feeling better and I'm back at work.  Erin and Andy arrived from Tacoma on Wednesday.  I didn't get close to Erin because she is prego and I don't want her getting sick.  They are staying at the house and we made breakfast this morning.  Pancakes, ham, and eggs.  It was yummy.  And yes I actually ate some ham for the first time in forever.  But still no red meat.  Anyway, that about sums up the current state.  I'm glad that Erin and Andy are staying at the house with me because I haven't seen her in over two years.  I just hope that everything goes okay with the job situation.  I mean I had doctor's orders and a doctor's note not to come back to work until tonight so I know I'm covered there.  My nerves are pretty much shot and I'll be taking a couple of nerve pills when I get home.  But Sherry B. reassuring me that everything would be okay makes me a little settled.  I have no clue why my sinus' are acting so out of whack.  The doctor said that it has probably been draining and draining for a long while now and it is just catching up with me.  All I know is that throwing up blood scared the living shit out of me.  I don't want that to happen again.  So I haven't been smoking much either.  I'm trying to cut back and hopefully in six months be done with it.  It's a nasty habit anyway.  But other than that please wish me luck that everything will work out okay because Lord knows I have had enough drama to last a life time since I turned 20.  Back surgeries, staying sick, and all the other bullshit.   I just want some calm in my life.  Some more stability.  Just for things to start flowing right....not like the flow of a damn period.  Later dudes!!
 
By the way I'm guest blogging again at Pink Haired Girl again if anyone wants to stop by.

Oh What A Night

Work proved to be hectic tonight. All kinds of driver complaints and bitching. Drivers getting sick. I barely left my desk all night. Now I've got to get back to work. Just thought I write out a little of my frustrations since I have a minute.

Current Events

It is not like I keep up with current events that mean anything. However, I keep up with current events that definitly mean nothing to the current diaster the world is in or headed for. Last night when I went to 7-11 for some Tums because I had heartburn I saw the cover of People Magazine and guess who was on the cover? Britney Spears. And she is getting herself married. She looks so cute with her man. Also I love the ring she bought for herself because we all know that he could not afford that five carat rock she has so snug on her fingers. And her little Maltese...oh but could it be anymore cute? I don't think so. So that is the current event that I am currently dealing with. Oh and the fact that Britney needs to give me a call to plan her wedding because I know I could do wonders for it.

And the other current event that I'm dealing with is Missy's birthday. So Happy Birthday Missy!! I got to talk to her at about 12:02am and bam I got to wish her a happy birthday.

Mom is headed to Ocean City for the rest of the week and weekend and I'm working. So I better get off of here and do some of that.

Oh and thanks for the comment Sherry Neehigh!! It's one thing to care about yourself but another to make yourself a priority above everything and everybody. You can care for yourself but you should also care about those people who care about you and I just don't see that happening in Michael's world.

Some more thoughts

I thought some more this morning. I don't know why I am investing so much time into it but it is like I cannot stop thinking about things. I had always told Cheri that I would like to have a friend that would understand where I was coming from with the whole "gay" thing. But now that I have someone who has went through the same things I'm like why did I ever ask for one or want one. I know that it is just the wrong person who thinks they can introduce me to things. The thing is is that I'm the one introducing this person to the new things. Maybe this person is just too naive and sheltered. Or maybe he is a fucking self centered queen. I don't know. I just know that this whole weekend has changed my whole perception on Michael and I feel like it has damaged or stained what friendship was developing. There were things that have happened in the past that I have overlooked...you know like the time he brought someone he has just met into the Blazer while Cheri and I and got a blowjob with us in the car. I mean who the hell does something like that. He said he didn't think we would care. And it was happening to him so why were we worried about it. What the fuck ever. Get a hotel room. And to hook up with someone he had just met that night for D.C. at that...please. That's why he thought he had caught something about a week later. Also, I had to be the one to tell him that you can catch STDs through oral sex. He had no clue. I feel like I'm raising a child more than have a friend and that is truly what is bothering me. There is more but I just don't feel like getting into it because I know I'll really say something I shouldn't.

The Luckie Duckie

So I'm at work now. I have had about 2 and 1/2 hours of sleep. Just got in from vacay at 7pm. I had a blast in Busch Gardens and the whole vacation. But it started off horribly. When I went to meet Michael Friday morning his car starter went out and we had to have that fixed. So that delayed us leaving for about and hour or longer. On the way down I got separated from my parents. They kept on telling me to speed up to catch up with them but I didn't because I was afraid of getting pulled over. Finally, we met up at a truck stop. My parents pulled out before Michael, Cheri and I so again I get separated. Well I sort of knew where I was going but then I realized I didn't. So my mother calls me and I'm trying to communicate with her and I forget to watch my speed. When I realize "Hey I'm speeding." I hit my brakes and it's too late. A cop had already clocked me and pulled me over. He asked me why I was speeding and I politely tell him. And I swear I was very nice and just scared. I told him that this was my first time driving by myself and I got separated from my parents and I was basically lost and that I was on the phone with my mother trying to find out where to go. When I realized I was speeding I tried to slow down. I told him I knew where I was but not where to go so I was trying to catch up. I told him I wasn't familiar with the area and had no clue what the speed limit was. I almost started crying. I don't think he believed that three people in their 20's were following parents per se but we were. He gave me a summons to court. So now I have to go back down there to go to court to explain to the judge the whole situation. Here the whole time I don't speed and the time I decide to so I don't get lost I get pulled over. And to make matters worse my mother said "Watch out for the cops" when I pick up the phone and I respond "too late I'm getting pulled over." So the whole time I'm down there I'm wondering what is going on. My father stopped at the Sheriff's office and talked to her about it. She couldn't believe it and was like "I am so sorry that happened did your son tell the officer?" She said that the officer could have let me go knowing the situation and that him keeping me there only furthered the distance between me and my parents. She said since I have a clean record that I will probably just be fined and at worst have to take a driving class. I hope everything works out because it really was an honest mistake. When I had to sign the paper I was rubbing my eyes so I didn't cry and the officer yelled "You need to sign this paper Mr. Hebb." He was such a dick to me. I think her realized I was gay. He was cool until I opened my mouth. Since I sound a little faggish. He totally copped an attitude with me...no pun intended. But hopefully everything will be okay. And the Sheriff's reassurance makes me feel better.

Aside from that the trip was wonderful. I was with my best friend Cheri and I think we grew closer over this trip. Michael on the otherhand has driven me crazy. I felt at times like putting duct tape around his mouth so he would stop talking about hisself and how everyone wanted him. He made Cheri curl his eyelashes so he would look sexier. Hello that is not going to happen. He accused me of wearing mascara and curling my lashes. I don't do either. The only time I have worn anything on my eyes is at Halloween. I wore eyeliner one time when we went out but other than that he is totally jealous of my eyes. I mean I love Michael to death but he is the most self centered person. I know I talk about myself but it is like 97% joking and most of it is negative. Every story he had to tell was about himself. Even when we were talking about other people like stories of death in a family or a serious subject he would butt in and be like "Oh this one time I..." or "Did you guys see him look at me?" or "Look at his butt..." It is like all the conversations are one sided. And he made a comment about me that both Cheri and I wanted to slap him for. It was 94 degrees. Any of you that know me know that I stay hot so I was of course sweating. He said "I'm tired of people complaining." This was in reference to Cheri saying "It is hot out today." Then he says "I really don't get hot and I certainly do sweat like that." In reference to me like I'm some kind of freak. But I let it go. And to top it all off ever since I said I wanted a Louis Vuitton coin purse and a Dooney and Burke coin purse that is all he talks about. We went to Dooney and Bourke and I was looking at the change purses. I was going to get one and he grabbed it out of my hand and said "That is so what I've been wanting." Then he went and bought it. I was like nevermind I didn't want that. Cheri looked at me like I cannot believe he just did that. When we get to the car he says "Who is this by anyway?" Then he says "But like I've been saying I want to get my LV coin purse." I didn't say a damn thing. Then we go to Timberland and Cheri is looking at a cellphone cover. He does the same thing. Grabs it out of her hand. She says "I was looking at that." He says it doesn't matter I need one anyway. She bit her tongue too. You don't just go grabbing stuff out of people's hand and buying what they are getting ready to buy look for your own. He keeps claiming that it was his idea to get a D&B and LV coin purse when he didn't even know who D&B was and just found out who LV was when we bought him his wallet. My mother said he wanted the stuff we wanted because he wants to fit in with us and be cool or whatever because he thinks Cheri and I are cool. But it comes to a point when it just becomes rude and obnoxious. Anyway, I could go on for about a novel's worth so I'll shut up and do some work. Hope everyone has a great 4th.

P.S. In case I haven't said it lately to all my bloggie friends "I love you guys/gals." And thanks for the comment Paul (NoMilk) it so makes sense.