Flight of Fancy

On my way to work tonight I listened to the song "Echo" by the band Trapt. It reminded me off Summer. You know the girl who I loved to no end and would eventually break my heart. Then I wondered if the impact she had on me made me trust women in general less. Was I that scorned that it plays a part in my perception of a relationship with a woman can truly be? I don't know. I know who I am. I am extremely comfortable with my sexuality now but I have to wonder if she had anything to do with me turning out the way I have. I have always kept females close to me as friends. I can't say I have ever let anyone in as much as I did with Summer. It is like I already know how it will turn out if I do let them in. That is why I choose not to let people get too close to me. With Cheri it is a different story. She honestly is my missing link. We finish and compliment each other. But, I do realize that it is better to remain friends. That way there is no reason for us to ever become separated due to some stupid argument that generally happens in a relationship. People (especially April and Erin) told me that I have to let go of Summer. But, it just isn't that easy. Let's see it has been about 4 years since I last saw her but I still think of her often. Maybe it is because she was my first love or maybe it is because she hurt me so bad that I just can't push her out of my mind. Whatever the case I need to start forgetting about the past and worry about what lies ahead in the future.

Just a thought. Night everyone.

I would rock your world but you're just too ugly

I have no clue what it is but on the way home everyday I think I have managed to see the prettiest monsters commuting to and from. Hello monsters are only supposed to come out at night. Wait a minute...I work at night but I'm certainly foxy. At least I have sexy ass eyes that most people cannot compete with. Michael asked me if I wore mascara and curled my eyelashes because I have beautiful eyes.

I was like "Sahh...Tsk...No...Oh..my...gaa...natural." If that doesn't scream queen then I don't know what does. But I must say that if I wear eyeliner my eyes are even more stunning. I could melt you with them. Just kidding. I can only undress you with them.

Anyway, back to the subject. This lady was following ever so closely to me on the way home and she was applying make-up. All I wanted to say to her was that I didn't think Covergirl, MaxFactor, Clinique, Wet n Wild, or anything other brand of facial crayon was going to improve what is already horrendous and/or permanenetly fucked up by nature. It's just not possible. I wish I could have applied for her to be on The Swan. But then I would be afraid she would just turn out looking like an Ostrich. Or better yet...an ugly duckling...yahh..haa...ha. Yeah I realize it wasn't funny. But seriously if you know you are ugly wear a mask. It is the only thing that shields my beautiful eyes from your ugly face. Oh that is really mean. But hey I'm aloud to say it. That is why I only surround myself with beautiful people. Or people I think are attractive. Not that I think I'm God's gift to the world but hey I'm not bad at all.

I'm mysterious looking when I have black hair. With blonde I'm exactly that...a ditzbag. Any...time to run.

Weekend Recap

This weekend was wonderful. Yeah wonderful. Shopping Saturday for seven hours at Dulles Town Center and then the Leesburg outlets. I only spent $250 Saturday which is surprising. I got like 28 candles from Yankee Candle Company for twenty bucks and a holder. I went to Abercrombie and Fitch and purchased some underwear for like $50 for three pair. They are quite comfortable. I don't even know that they are there. At Hecht's I managed to find a pair of scandals that I actually like by Steve Madden for only a whopping $40. Let's see...I headed to SunCoast Video and bought "The Seven Year Itch" and "Mrs. Winterbourne." At HotTopic I bought a new shirt that says "Sorry, I don't do girls." It was a good investment for only twenty. Then Michael and I headed to T.G.I.F.'s for some dinner. It was yummy. Then we went to the outlets where I got my fourth new watch in 6 monhts. It is by Kenneth Cole Reaction. I love it. It has a leather band that is a khaki color with a matching face. It was on sale for $40. Then after Michael bought out Kenneth Cole spending almost $400 we headed to Calvin Klein. I didn't buy a damn thing. I figured I was at my limit for the day. Got home about 1100pm and went to bed.

Sunday I got up at around 1pm and headed to Martinsburg to meet Cheri and Missy. We went to dinner at Empire China where Cheri's mom works. The food was great. It was Cheri's treat and I am very greatful. Then she took us to the movies to see "White Chicks." Umm...hello...did that movie so not represent Cheri and I? It so did. Then we went to WalMart where I made several purchases. I got "Gothika," "Beyond Borders," and "Can't Buy Me Love." So allergy medicine and so Got2B spiking gel. Yeah there went another $85. But now I'm at work. Not too busy. Still loving the job. Vacay starts Friday morning after I get off work. The parentals are giving me like $300 so spend down there. Yee-haw. Other than that everything is going good. My fat ass has managed to lose 12lbs since starting here and I hope to continue. It is because I don't eat. But hey starvation could be the new "in" thing for dieting. Well gotta go do some work. Keeping up with these truck drivers and such can be quite taxing.

Later.

Whoa there...

I actually am updating my journal before I get home. Jesus Christ I can't believe it. I am quite tired. Hence, the lack of sleep mentioned earlier. But it will be okay. Plans have shifted for today...shopping is still on but Cheri, Missy, Michael and I are probably going out tonight. I hope that I have enough energy stored to make it through the whole day and then be able to last at night. I know I'll be pushing it but hey it's not like I get to go out every weekend. Anywho, I shall post if anything interesting happens this weekend.

Chao!!

Suck on this exhaustion

So like I have said a trillion times before I do not sleep all that well. Actually when I fall asleep I sleep. It is the whole "trying to fall asleep" thing that is the problem. Let's see I took three shots of NyQuil and two sleeping pills and bam three hours later I was finally tired. Four hours of sleep later and I'm up watching my BVS DVD's. I have tried so much shit to try to get me to sleep but none of them seem to work. Sleeping aids, teas, herbs, crack...well maybe not crack because that has the opposite effect but you never know. Anywho, I've got to get ready for work in about 45 mins and I'm still wide awake. I thought hey lay down for an hour and take a power nap. Yeah that lasted all of 4 mins and I was up and now on the computer. What to do? What to do?

Hopefully, I will be tired by the a.m. because Michael will be here by 1230 tomorrow to go shopping. And we all know that one thing that keeps me awake is spending money for gifts for myself. Anyway, if you have any suggestions please feel free to drop me a note. I'm off to burn a CD for work tonight and then watch another epidsode of BVS before getting a shower.

Later Bitches.

Hideho Motherfuckers

Yeah I know I have been neglecting the journal. But hey when you work from 10pm-7am without a break you are quite tired when you get home. Plus I watch the reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in the morning from 730 to 9. I know I've seen them all before but but but...I need to see them again. And I mean yeah I could watch my DVD's but hey it's on t.v. when I'm lying in bed trying to relax. Work kicks ass. This job is a fucking blast. Plus there are some hot truckers to look at throughout the night so I'm game. Let's see what has been going on.

Yesterday I had my second round of acupuncture. They put one of the needles in wrong and I about chopped the doctor's fucking head off. But other than that it didn't work as well this time. I went to the doctor today for my allergies. Other than that I have been staying home and doing much of nothing.

This past Saturday I went shopping and stayed up from Friday night at 8pm until 11pm Saturday night. I got the newest release of BVS. The 6th season. I love it. I love when Willow because the oober witch. She rocks. If only I could manage something like that the world would be such a better place to live. Well it's 4pm and I really need to get some sleep before I have to get up at 830 so I better scoot.

Oh but before I go Baby Girl (my pet rat) has this huge ass cage that you think she would be content with but no no no. She has managed to somehow knaw through the floor of it. Hello hard plastic here. How the hell did you manage that one my love. Anyway we had to put a cookie sheet underneath it so she could get out. She is such a scheming bitch. She wants to run the house all night and that just isn't going to happen because I'm sure that there would be much diaster to awake to.

Anyway, going shopping Saturday with Michael. Going out with Dad to the movies Sunday to see the Stepford Wives. Working the week and then I'm on vacation for five days. Yippy K.Y. Jelly baby...I can't wait to shop!!

Like I said yesterday

I would make an attempt to write in my journal again everyday. And look I did!!

Neglect

I fell as though I have been neglecting my journal. I don't write in it everyday like I used to when I work banker's hours. Now it is more like a chore to come down to the computer and write. Not that I don't enjoy it but I'm so tired when I get home that I don't feel like typing. Plus the fact that I type all night at work makes me not want to type when I get home. But I'm going to try to get myself on a new ritual when I come home from work. I will be to take a shower, get something to eat/drink, and then head to the computer to check my emails/journals and hopefully if I'm not falling asleep write in my own. I haven't really been reading journals lately. Where at one point I found myself addicted to reading journals I don't have that craving anymore. I guess that working vampire hours has its negatives too. I am a nightowl so that is the positive. The job is interesting. The people I work with not that there are many are too funny. (They love to curse just as much as yours truly). But, nothing that journal worthy happens there and being on a computer all night sort of makes me want to shy away from the use of a computer when I get home. I have managed however to read my friend Amanda's journal everyday. I love the way that she writes. She has always been a kick ass writer. Since we had English 101 together about 6 years ago. She is a person who writes wonderfully non-fiction wise whereas, I am a person that writes incredible fiction. Anywho, so let it be known that, yes, I will start reading everyone's journals again daily and attempt to fill my journal pages with something remotely interesting everyday. Until tomorrow morning at around 7:35am...

Nighty...night....well morney...morn...hey it's the best I could do on about 4 hours of sleep.

So much Pride so little time

Well we didn't make it to pride this weekend in D.C. Actually we didn't make it anywhere. Next weekend however, is going to be a different story. We will be on a shopping escapade in D.C. We were all too tired to go anywhere this weekend. I slept from 10am Saturday morning until midnight. That is how exhausted I was from working overtime and just being on third shift this week. However, I love third shift and could not ask for a better shift. The only excursion that I had this weekend was tonight with Cheri. I had gone up to April's house to hang out and we decided to go to WalMart. Cheri met us there and we headed to Rockville to get some shrimp chow foon. Other than that I haven't done much of anything. I am tired now but I have to stay up later so that I'm not up all day tomorrow seeing that I have to work third shift from now on. Staying up all day will not be beneficial to my work schedule. I have to stay up until at least 3-4am so that I can sleep in the afternoon to the evening tomorrow. Anyway, vacation is coming up in two weeks. My parents, Michael, Cheri and I are headed to Williamsburg for four days. I can't wait. When the three of us are together that is when I am the happiest. Plus The Williamsburg Pottery is there which make everything worth my while. That is my favorite part of the vacation...The Pottery. They have so much unique stuff that you can't find around here. Plus I like baskets for some odd reason and they have around 5 or 6 thousand baskets to choose from there. I also like going to Busch Gardens and seeing the shows and also the shops. They have great stuff too believe it or not. I mean you wouldn't think that an amusement park would have great stuff but they in fact do. I especially love the purchases that can be made in Ireland part of the park. They have such beautiful things. I'm a celtic junkie. I love celtic knots and the such so that is heaven to me. Oh and by the way I don't think that Michael and Cheri are getting me my Louis Vuitton change holder as I so much wanted for my birthday. They said that they had something much more super de dooper for me than the likes of Louis so I can't wait to find out what it could possibly be. However, in other Louis Vuitton related news I will be getting my LV Bookbag in about a month. Seeing as I am making about 200 more dollars a week at my new job my dream bag is only a couple of hundred dollars away. Yay yay yay!!!!!!!!

When I get it there will be a picture. Of the bag and of the big grin I will have across my face.

P.S. My family and friends are making me so happy at the current time that I couldn't ask for anything more. The Louis Vuitton bookbag is just an added bonus to fill my materialistic side. I try to suppress it but for some reason when I do that it comes back with more vengence so I try to fill it every week so that I don't want for too much when I don't.

Hope everyone had a great time at Pride across the country. I will be going for sure next year. Love ya'll!!

Biz ziz ziz zay

Work was hell last night. We were extremely backed up on the route packets for the drivers. Our drivers are supposed to be out on the road by 3am no later. Well some of them didn't get to leave until about 430am. And I am not to blame thank you very much. Johannes and I busted our asses to get caught up. Kim stayed after for four hours to help. But by the end of the night (it would now be my morning) we were caught up but we will see what happens when Ford gets there report and we so did not make a 99% on time rate. We are blaming it on the shipping company. They sent us three loads that were supposed to be sent out the previous night last night so that is what fucked everything up. Can't people fucking be on time for once? Huh? Is it that impossible? I'm always on time to work actually, at least 15-20 minutes early but that's because I'm perfect.

Just joking. Needed that little vanity today to make life worth living. LOL

Well tomorrow's just another day...tonight however I'm hoping will be a different story.

P.S. Thanks for the comments Amanda. I'll have to come up one night and get your template filled with links and shit. Maybe I can come up Sunday afternoon around 2 or something. Call my cellphone and leave a message to let me know if that would be cool. Later Girl!!

Good Morning

Well it is around 830am and I am wide awake. I find it harder and harder to sleep when I come in at 8am. Working from 10pm until 7am flys by however. Working for a trucking company kicks ass as far as I am concerned. And yeah there are actually some hot looking truck drivers that come in and out of there. One's name is Shannon...and he is very gorgeous. I do the computer coding for the drivers that gets sent to Ford so that they see everything is being shipped and delivered correctly. I get to track where each and everyone of my drivers is all night. They are never slick enough to hide!!!

Amanda,

I'm not sure how to respond to the email that you sent. I guess it is just harder having someone as a friend that I never get to see. It is not that I don't think about you and the kids and Billy because I do. I guess our lives have just moved in such totally different directions that it has had me neglect our friendship. Believe me I never meant to push our friendship to the side it just sort of happened without me even realizing it. So I'm going to try harder to keep in touch with you. If it is only through email since we are on totally different schedules than I'm hoping that will do for now. Tell Billy and the kids I say hello. Hope to hear from you soon.

P.S. I added you to my links!!!

Well I'm off to get a shower and grab something to eat since I haven't eaten in three days. Did I mention that I'm so busy at work that I don't eat. Yeah...I just remember that I need to eat. I haven't ate since Sunday night.

And Constance...Michael, Cheri and I are headed to Pride in D.C. this weekend. Thanks for the birthday wish. You too Tricia...hope everything is going good at work and with the kid!!

Hello there my people

Saturday night was a blast. Michael, Cheri, Missy and I went to dinner at Ramano's Macaroni Grill. And why did all of us flirt with our waitress Danita. She was wonderful. The food was wonderful. And we laughed our asses off. Then we headed to Deer Park. We got there a couple minutes before midnight (the real birthday day). It was pretty packed. I didn't even drink. But I did dance with Michael...that made my birthday all the more better.

Sunday I did nothing. And when I mean nothing I mean did not get out of bed. That was until Cheri came over with the second installment of my birthday present. Saturday was Miracle by Lancome from Michael, Godiva Liquer Truffles from Cheri. Sunday was three roses and some purple flowers (each rose was one of them M, M, C) and a balloon with Happy Birthday written on it. The third installment I get this upcoming Saturday. And I'm pretty sure it is my Louis Vuitton change purse. Actually, I know it is.

This weekend we are headed to Pride in D.C. We are leaving to go Saturday night. I mean we have to go later because Michael and I don't get off until 7am Saturday morning. We are staying the night and then going all day Sunday. It should be fun. Anyway, I've got to get some sleep for work tonight. I've got to be up at 830 and it's 430 now. So I'll write later.

P.S. Thank you so much for the birthday wish Manieka!!!!!!!!!!

Double shot

I went for a job interview yesterday expecting to get hired. What I didn't expect would be that I would start that night. I am now working for Schneider Trucking Company. I do computer work, coding, spreadsheets...stuff that I'm interested in. It is based off of daily routes that the truckers use and I have to talk to them all night to get all kinds of information and crap to plug into the spreadsheets so that METRICS is 99% or higher. I kick ass so far. I have been up since yesterday at 10am and have yet to sleep. I'm getting some water, smoking a cigarette, and hitting the sack. I have to be in at 10pm so I figure getting to sleep by 2pm will suffice. Wish me luck my people. This job is super cool!!

Oh and just as a reminder someone's special day is coming up on Sunday. If I don't get a chance to write it is because I will have locked myself away at the thought of being 24. I think I will start being reborn to 23 ever June 6th from this one forth.